Contemplating on how I met God is both easy and difficult. It is easy because the events leading to my actual encounter has been implanted in my heart making story-telling a breeze. I only need to close my eyes for a brief moment and everything comes back to me like it only happened yesterday. It is also easy because I will be relaying to my friends, the main audience of this reflection, who knew me before I had this great encounter with God. However it is not limited to just them. It is my hope that a stranger reading this phenomenology would actually be blessed beyond I could imagine.
But what is much more difficult is how I could come to a reflective determination and vivid interpretation of this actual experience. Hence, I will not explain explicitly theological principles of why God chooses to reveal Himself to certain individuals (I don’t have the answers to those anyway). I will also avoid narrating specific events that led to my rendezvous. This does not mean though that these events are not important. In fact, I recognize that these moments were actually orchestrated and carefully planned by God so that when I finally meet Him, the encounter would be mind blowing (which actually happened).
For years I have been drowning in sin. I recently counted exactly how long and the number came to 18 years. 18 long years. I guess it started the moment puberty hit. I was curious and would try everything shoved down my face. I was arrogant and believed I can do anything you dare me to do. Ironically I was also insecure and the completion of a daring yet idiotic task was already a great accomplishment. Here, I am in admittance of the kind of person I was. In doing so, I am able to establish the impact of God once the encounter occurs. I was into drinking, smoking, lying, stealing, cheating, wrong relationships, and I found the misfortune of another person amusing. Worst of all, I was a hypocrite. I hid my sins in the façade of a church-goer. I made sure my choreography of when to bow my head, raise my hands and close my eyes were in tune with the other Christians. I taught myself how to pray yet I never really communicated with God. I was doing everything on my own.
But God did not create me that way and as the true owner of the life I have He decided He's had enough of my shenanigans. He used my scornfulness to lure me to Him. Right now, for me to further explain my point, you need to know that I am an extensive reader. I read everything from shampoo labels to encyclopedias. Naturally, I would be inclined to reading the Bible. It has been my goal for several years to do so, not in context with God but for the mere sake of reading it. Little did I realize that His Words would pop out of the pages and minister to me. The verse that brought me to my turning point came from 1 John where it read:
If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin (1 John 1:6-7, NIV).
For the first time in my life, I actually wanted to get to know Him. He said He will purify me from all sin. That was His selling piece. After all the years of sinning and doing my own thing and running away from God, I realized I was tired. Exhausted even.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9, NIV).
I never even knew I wanted to rest until that moment.
In this phenomenology, I have come to realize that though I've known that God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for my sins, I have never fully grasped it's true meaning. By continuously reading my Bible, I slowly had the desire in my heart to get to know more about this God who, despite His majesty and power, chose to sacrifice His one and only Son, for my sake. MY SAKE. I am nothing but a speck of dust in His eyesight yet He chose to love me that much. How could I continue to ignore such love? I wanted to find Him.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13, NIV).
I started weeping and praying like I've never prayed before and God gave me hope through the Holy Spirit…
For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; he who knocks the door will be opened (Luke 11:10,NIV)
...and God started to give me promises:
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit -- fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name (John 15:16, NIV)…
For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11,NIV)…
And then I knew that God indeed loves me. I can pick about 3 people in my lifetime who professed their love to me in such fantabulous ways that I wasn't able to resist but God's way of presenting Himself, revealing His love and purpose for my life knocked me off my feet! I was just blown away by this awesome, awesome God.
3 months into this journey with God and I can say I have never been the same. I have given up everything that displeases God and I continually seek Him through His word. God sent me people to help me with my walk and He is still orchestrating events so that all He has planned for my life will come to pass. And now looking back at who I was before this encounter with my God, I marvel at how I could hardly recognize my old self.
Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who is seated on the throne said,
"I am making everything new!"(Revelations 21:3-5a, NIV)