There’s no such thing as happily ever after. Truth be told, it does not exist. A place where everyone constantly gets along and where clarity arrives at the right time before people say or do nasty things is non existent.
There’s no such place where couples are protected from the world outiside their own and even from each other. Where no one hurts anyone and no one acts like an asshole.
But then again that’s okay because you do not need a fairytale ending.
What you need is a partner who understands. Someone who gets it that it could, at some point, get tough yet is willing to dive in anyway. Someone who is prepared to swim alongside you through life’s ugliest and darkest bits. Someone who can admit they were a shithead when they blurted out that thing that was only half-meant, in retrospect.
And that no matter how much you are into each other there will definitely be relationship pains. Doesn’t matter how much you adore each other, for sure there will be rocky patches. No matter how many sacrifices you make on behalf of each other, no matter how often you laugh together or no matter how many milestones you’ve accomplished as a couple, it can get tough, sometimes when you least expect them.
It doesn’t even matter how compatible you are or how often you’re able to make each other smile. It’s irrelevant how much you are wowed by each other’s awesomeness. We all suck at being human sometimes and at one point you will get in that place where things go wrong no matter how kind hearted and good of a person you are.
And this will impact your relationship.
One day you might find a grumpy, bitter, intolerant beast incapable of being a loving partner instead of the compassionate, joyful and motivated individual that you are. And for no particular reason. Or maybe life will catapult you in the middle of some crisis and the challenge of handling this will overwhelm you to a point that your relationship suffers with you as a result.
You and your other half will fail each other sometimes.
You will drive each other nuts as you fail to understand each other. You will disappoint and might take hours or even days before you see clearly, admit you’re wrong and finally apologize. Before you can bring back the sense of loving trust that held you together right before shit hits the proverbial fan.
Because the thing is the deeper the love you have for someone, the more vulnerable you are to them. The harder you fall for someone, the more power you give them to make you miserable. The person you promised ever after to will break your heart in small but meaningful ways over and over again.
But as long as you are committed to learning from each and every mistake, there is renewed strength from each and every heartbreak. If you take time to assess what went wrong and figure out why the brawl was actually inevitable and then vow to make things right, you will be okay. If you trust that every argument is an opportunity to understand each other better, you will grow stronger and wiser and more powerful as a couple.
So expect relationship troubles. But the better prepared you are for this truth the better you can position yourself and you will be able to fight for your relationship to survive. And believe me, you will have to fight.