God's timing is perfect. I can't emphasize that enough. I've been a Christian for as long as I can remember but I seldom felt it in my heart. I was what you can call a seasonal Christian. I pray when I feel like it (mostly when I am in trouble), I read my Bible only in church (and most of the time I rely on the powerpoint) and I live a sinful life. I'm not a thief or a murderer and I don't take drugs but everyday I struggle with little sins (Although there really is no little sin. A sin is a sin no matter how small it may seem). Don't get me wrong though, I grew up in Church and was even a kid's church volunteer, youth leader and church newsletter editor but I allowed my heart to be hardened by sin and I came to a point when I felt no guilt anymore.
But God never stopped calling me. Most of the time I would brush Him off and sometimes even totally shut Him down, but because He loves me so much, His grace kept tracking me down. It actually frustrated me because I'm ok without Him. Or so I thought.
God planted a desire in my heart to change and straighten my life and I found out that when you say yes to this kind of desire, God will do everything for you to get it. You don't even have to ask twice. I am a witness to this kind of grace because as soon as I said YES to Him, He immediately worked in my life. And believe me, I've said yes to Him more than once but this is the first time that I really really really meant it.
He immediately removed me from the place where I struggle with my values, He set up my schedule in such a way that I can make time for Him with no excuses, He gave me a job that's flexible enough to be self sustaining most of the time, he introduced me to people who will walk with me through this journey and He's surprising me with provision that I can't even begin to imagine where it's from. God. I am just overwhelmed with how much He loves me that He's giving me a second, no a third, no an enth chance at making it right. And I know this time it is for real. I'm excited to see what else God has in store for me but right now I just wanna soak myself in His love, in His grace. Babad Lord. Paaaa-na-lo! :))
In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you. I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation.
2 Corinthians 6:2