And I too, am tired of struggling. I just want God to pour out His blessings on me but I fight His will and plans for my life. I struggle. I wrestle. I am that selfish.
Our lives are never meant to be easy. This is true especially when we take upon ourselves to go against the will of God for our lives. But despite our tribulations and our struggles, even when things become messy and chaotic, our strivings in this life are never devoid of God’s presence and His blessing inevitably follows the struggle.
Real growth involve struggle and pain. Always.
Jacob’s wrestling with God that night just reminds me of this certainty: that even when I fight God and His will for my life, in truth, His love remains the same because He is a good God. I may struggle with Him through the night, but by daybreak, His blessings will come.
And I ought to be ashamed of myself. So I'm letting go and letting God.