My problem is that I always fall for the wrong person. Always. Like right now. So again, I cried out to God. And because of perfect timing, the song Fire Burns played exactly when I was telling Him that we've already gone a long way (if you're not familiar with the song it starts with "Don't wanna go back, Lord, to the way I used to live..." -- you get my drift?). He's always on cue even with the background music.
So anyway, I asked if I should avoid this person which is a really difficult thing to do not because I can't but because I am bound to be with this person for a whole lot of valid reasons. I cried and reminded God that He’s supposed to be taking care of me, including the wrong feelings that I have. I reminded Him that He’s supposed to be making this easier for me. And how dare I say such things to God!
Then He made me laugh.
This God, my God, with His great sense of humor, threw back the reminders at me. He reminded me that I asked for Him to change me and make me stronger when it comes to these things. He reminded me that I asked for Him to allow me to overcome this problem. And so He reminded me that this is my test. And that He does want me to be stronger and He does want me to overcome this problem.
Then God reminded me of the movie Evan Almighty where He (or rather a character playing Him) says:
If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?
What I have right now sounds like an opportunity. I believe God knows exactly what He is doing so I’m gonna go through this with Him. He will walk me through. He will provide me the grace I need. I am powerless and left to myself I will mess this up. But God is backing me up and leading the way.
My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness… I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Msg)
PS – As I parked my car I looked up and saw the full moon. God and I have a thing about the moon. And once again I was reminded that He is in fact taking care of me.